The Sex-factor?

Growing up, my mother always told me that an unmarried girl/woman should always keep her legs shut. She said that the moment you opened them to any guy, he would lose interest in you immediately and he would never marry you. She said once he tasted you, that was it, he would leave you for "new meat".

So because of that, I grew up to be stern when it came to sex. I was never never going to give it away! But then I fell in love one day. And eventually I did the deed. It felt so good giving it to someone I cherished. The relationship lasted seven good years and we only broke up because he was having a baby with another woman.

Time passed and I got into relationships with other guys and I thought I had learnt my lesson so I held it back. I was strictly a no-sex-outside-of-marriage person. I followed that religiously until a time when I wanted to get married and I thought I had met the right person. So I started engaging again. The aim was to get pregnant then inevitably get married because in my culture, once you get pregnant, the responsible person has no choice but to marry you. But then things didn't go as planned because I failed to get pregnant and he left me.

A month later after that relationship, I met an awesome guy and we hit it of instantly. He was such a great guy and I thought the only way to keep him was not too have sex with him because I remembered how my mother always told me that to keep a guy interested, you have to withhold sex from him. That way, he would be intrigued by you more and will make him want to make you his wife. He used to ask for sex and I would always say no until he finally found someone who have him what he wanted and broke my heart in pieces when he got married right under my nose because they were expecting.

So I cried about it but moved on quickly. I got into a relationship with a guy who'd been my friend for over 5 years. The guy had always asked me out but I'd always said no because I was attached. So we do have a good time and all but one day I go to his house and I see there's another woman there. When I finally agree to see him and ask him to be truthful with me guess what? He tells me that he loves me so much and actually wants to be with me but he only went out to look for another woman because he wanted sex!

All of this finally got me thinking. Does it really matter whether you have sex with a guy or not? Does giving him sex make him lose interest?

This is what I have concluded; in this age that we live in, why a man stays with you has nothing to do with giving him or withholding sex from him. There are so many reasons that would want to make a man stay with you or wifey you which are independent of sex. Your character, your personality and the way you react to situations are the things that can guarantee your future with any man. That's the thing I've learnt after all these experiences. I wish I could explain this to my mother but off-course she'll think I've gone mad.